A Break From Reality
by Onirei Kirara
Summary: Everyone with a family knows that they can be a bit...stressful at times. But when Wolfram imagined a vacation with Yurri, he didn't mean on Earth with Yurri's mom! This may cause more stress then it solves...Yaoi YurrixWolfram
1. As naked as poor Mr Gills

**Okay, I technically should be updating my other fic, Magical Toothbrushes and Kitchen Fires, but I just have so much inspiration tonight! (squeals happily) Yes, I am going to attempt to write a multi-chapter fic with some semblance of a plot. Oh, the horror.**

**Anyways, this idea has probably been used before—but read it anyways. Please? And review? Oh, and of course, there will be lotsa yaoi in later chapters. :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KKM, though I wish I owned Wolfram. Rawr.**

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**Chapter One: As naked as poor Mr. Gills.**

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Wolfram paced the halls back and forth in the castle. That idiot of a fiancé of his had gone missing yet again. Of course, it wasn't like he was worried or anything. He was just pacing the halls because….

He really, REALLY had to go to the bathroom.

"DAMMIT! Gunter, get out of the bathroom!" he screeched. You'd think a HUGE castle like Covenant would have more that one bathroom to use at a time. Who planned the cleaning schedule anyway?

Wolfram bit down on his lower lip. Between his worrying about Yurri and the fact that his bladder was filled to 'maximum capacity', he was about to wet his pants.

He wondered if his Gwendal or Conrad considered it un-dignified to pee off the edge of the balcony.

Deciding that they probably did, he shot off down the stairs.

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Gwendal exited the Maoh's office where he had been signing papers in Yurri's absence. Lots of papers. Papers from everything to prison sentences to whether it was proper to have sex in public bathrooms. He decided to ignore that one, and let Yurri deal with it. (Evil guy.)

Passing up the bathrooms that were being cleaned on his right, his left, his right—why were all of the bathrooms being cleaned at the same time?

He finally reached a bathroom that wasn't being cleaned, and Gunter's handmade 'occupied' sign was hanging on it.

Of course, only Gwendal knows that Gunter likes to hole himself up in the bathroom and read for hours. God forbid he use his giant bedroom for that.

He knocked rather roughly on the door. "Gunter, open up. I know you're in there."

Gunter opened the door and looked up sheepishly at Gwendal, book of high-level elemental spells in hand.

--

Queen Celi knew her son had done something he wasn't supposed to the minute he sat down at dinner that night. He avoided her gaze and concentrated on his roasted chicken very hard.

After a few minutes of Gwendal and Conrad telling her what had gone on while she was away for the past two weeks (including the fact that the Maoh was gone AGAIN) she decided to confront Wolfram.

"Wolfy-hunny, what did you do?"

Wolfram, being his mother's son, could play THAT game just as well.

"Nothing, mother," he said with enormously large eyes for added effect.

Celi sat her spork down on her plate and grinned at Wolfram. "C'mon baby! I'm your mother, I _know _you did something."

Wolfram pouted. "You have no proof whatsoever, Mother." He took a bite of his chicken.

Celi gasped. "Oh Wolfram! It couldn't be that—you've taken away my poor Yurri-chan's virginity already!"

Wolfram choked on his chicken.

Conrad, being the wonderful older brother he is, rushed to Wolfram's side and started Heimliching the crap out of him.

A few moments later the offending piece of chicken flew across the table and landed in Gwendal's plate. (Ew.) Wolfram clutched at the table and gasped for air. It was at times like these that made him wonder why he loved his mother. And oh, there were many times like these.

Once he had enough oxygen and the blue in his face had turned to a heavy hue of maroon, he decided to let her have it. Ha-ha, screw the innocent façade.

"MOTHER!" He screeched, slamming his hands on the table. "The fact that you would even SUGGEST that I had sex with an idiot like Yurri makes me want to PUKE! PUKE, MOTHER!"

Gwendel picked up the regurgitated piece of chicken with his napkin, crumpled it up, and set it down on the table.

Conrad decided it was nice outside, and set off to do some night-time training. (No, not like that.)

"After all, he MAY be cute, but he's HOPELESS!" He'll flirt with anything that walks! He has no loyalty to me whatsoever! I HATE HIM!" Wolfram sank into is chair and pouted.

Celi didn't bat an eyelash. "Well, that may be true, Wolfy, but then what_did _you do?"

Wolfram looked up, surprised. "Eh?"

"I know you did _something_."

Wolfram shifted uncomfortably. "I just—uh—went to the bathroom in your garden."

Gwendal's eyebrows rose. "You urinated in Mother's garden?"

"HEY! 'S not like I had anywhere else to go, that idiot Gunter was holed up in the bathroom doing God-knows-what!"

"Hmph." Gwendal went back to eating. (Oh, evil man.)

Celi laughed loudly.

--

"Argh!" Wolfram muttered to himself, stalking down the corridor to his room. Reaching it, he threw open the door and let it slam shut, in a sad attempt to frighten the fangirl maids away. (Little does he know, they only find him sexier when he's having a temper tantrum. But I digress..)

Wolfram relaxed a little when he realized that he was alone. He grabbed a bath towel from one of his heavily gold-laden cupboards and walked down the hall to his bathroom. Stripping off his clothes, he climbed into the previously prepared bath.

He sighed. The water was the perfect temperature, the candles smelled nice—and the drain was making weird gurgling noises. He'd have to tell the castle plumber later.

This was about the farthest away he could get from his family without actually leaving the castle. What he needed was a vacation, somewhere different, preferably with Yurri..wait, did he just think that? Ah, how the mind betrays us.

Wolfram's conflicting thoughts were interrupted by a sharp pull at his ankle. He sat up in surprise, the cool washcloth falling off his forehead. What the..? He tried to pull away, but it was now use! Whatever it was dragged him underwater and—straight toward the drain. Oh damn. Now he knew what poor Mr. Gills felt like.

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Yurri sighed. "What is it now, Mom? I'm tired, I want to take a shower and go to bed!"

His mother glared at him. "Don't take that uppity tone with me, young man! There's something I want to talk to you about!" She produced a pink thong from nowhere.

"ACK!" Yurri fell over backwards. "Mom, that's not mine, I swear!"

"Really?" She stared into his eyes.

"Really."

And of course a mother knows if you are lying or not. So when she saw that he wasn't, she was slightly scared.

"I think I need to have a talk with your brother."

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Yurri opened his frighteningly-well organized drawers and took out a pair of pajamas. Honestly, he wouldn't be too surprised if he took a trip down the drain to Demon World tonight; it had been more than a week since he left.

Whistling a happy tune, he set out his toothbrush, hairbrush, clothes, and towels for that night, (neat freak) and swept open the shower curtain.

Only to find a very confused looking, _very_ drenched, and a _very naked_ Wolfram sitting there in his tub.

Yurri clamped both hands over his mouth to contain the initial scream of horror.

"Wolfram!" he whispered angrily. "Why is it that everywhere I go, you're there right along with me, only naked!

--

_tbc_

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**(Holds up naked Wolfram) You can only touch if you review! **


	2. An aversion to the word Naked

**Okay, first of all I'm SOOO sorry for not updating. I'm a lazy person, I am..it's truly horrible. T.T**

**But anyways, 32 REVIEWS! ZOMG, I freaking love you all! HAPPY NAKED DANCE! (Please note that this is something you all would probably never want to see.) And after all those touches, Wolfram feels SO violated. XD**

**(ahem) After re-reading all of your reviews, I was inspired. AND THUS, I present chapter two. After this short message.**

**Disclaimer: Well, I would have Wolfram do it, but it appears that '****-Cookie- l Tohma 911 l****' has confiscated him. Yup, we can only hope she gives him back. So meanwhile, we'll have GWENDAL do it!**

**Gwendal: O.o Ah..alright. We don't belong to her. (coughthankgodcough)**

**Alrighty then. OH, another thing. Excuse my weird spelling of Yurri, I have a fetish for r's. Onto the story. OH, and forgive the few grammar mistakes when I posted the last chappie. I was tired. **

**OH, AND I LURVE YOU ALL. (Runs away before she's PWNED)**

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**Chapter Two: Normal guys don't wear panties. (Really)**

When we last left our story a—few—months ago, Yurri was confronted about a pink thong that wasn't his, and Wolfram peed in a bush, got stressed out, and somehow wound up naked in Yurri's bathtub. Oh, and we discovered that Gunter likes to read in the bathroom and Gwendal is cruel.

Back to reality. Sort of. Of course it is a BREAK from reality, sooo..

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Yurri stood there with his mouth open for a few moments, mind trying to comprehend the situation. Somehow, Wolfram was just—there—and—naked! His mind just seemed to keep drifting back to the 'naked' part. But then again, he was..

Really naked.

And you know, when you're naked, your—thingy shows. And, although he HAD been in close proximity to a naked Wolfram before, Wolfram was always..under the sheets. And you couldn't see his thingy.

Yeah.

"Oh for God's sake Yurri!" Wolfram cried, standing up and snatching the towel from the countertop. "Stop staring at my crotch! I swear, you are such a pervert!"

A very indignant Wolfram wrapped the towel around himself and stalked into Yurri's bedroom, where he then remembered he had nowhere to go.

Yurri used his hands to forcibly close his mouth, then turned around, still feeling rather flustered. Wolfram was stalking around his room, looking quite peeved. He was also throwing open Yuuri's drawers and dumping them out on the floor, much to Yurri's chagrin.

"Whoa, hey! STOP!"

Wolfram glared at him.

Yurri coughed nervously. "Look, I don't know how you got here or why you're—naked, but just stop! This is my room, I know it, so just tell me what you need!"

"Feh," Wolfram replied, but he put the drawer back. "I need clothes."

"Eh?"

Wolfram was absolutely going to strangle Yurri. "Clothes, idiot! You may be a pervert that wants to see me walk around here naked, but I'm cold!"

"Hey, I'm not.." Yurri began, but decided to drop it. After that recent chain of thoughts maybe he _was_ a pervert. "Here, you can wear some of my pajamas. What happened?"

Wolfram watched Yurri dig around in one of the piles of clothes on the floor. "Well, I was taking a bath, when all of the sudden the drain sucked me down. It was quite uncomfortable. I'm guessing that's how you travel? I have to say, I don't envy you."

Yurri offered a pile of clothes to Wolfram. "So, you came by drain?"

Wolfram twitched. "Yes, _wimp._ I already said that." He looked down at the clothes in his hands. "Uh, what are these shorts for? Why do I need shorts when I have pants?"

"Uhh, those are boxers. They're a-different kind of underwear then you're used to wearing, but…"

"Wolfram held up the boxers to examine them. "What? How are these supposed to give me any support at all?"

Yurri was beginning to feel flustered again. "Well, you see Wolfram, in this world, normal guys don't wear panties."

"Oh really?"

"Really."

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Mrs. Shibuya knocked on the door to Yurri's bedroom. "Yurri, can I come in?"

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Yurri panicked. His mom couldn't see Wolfram! There were only two possible outcomes for this situation, and they were both very, _very _bad.

**Option one:** She would freak and run off crying about her son not telling her anything about his love life (not that Yurri wanted to have one with Wolfram, not at all) and then ground him for the rest of his life. Of course, that would quickly end and change into--**Option Two:** She would squeal with happiness at the sight of Wolfram and immediately arrange for some sort of wedding to take place.

Dreading both, Yurri hurriedly shoved a confused Wolfram back into the bathroom.

"Yurri, what are you doing in there? Can I come in?"

"Uh—yeah!" Yurri squeaked.

Mrs. Shibuya had to struggle to get the door open, because of the pile of laundry in front of it. "Goodness Yurri, what are you doing in here? It sounds like a circus is going on up here!" She frowned. "Your brother is trying to sleep."

Yurri chuckled nervously. "Uh..sorry. I'll keep it down. I was just—organizing!"

Mrs. Shibuya grinned. "Oh, that's a fine activity! I love organizing!" Her voice dropped. "Oh and Yurri, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about."

Yurri gulped. "Uh..yeah?

"Well, I talked to your brother about that thong and..well, he says it's not his. Are you positive that it's not yours? I mean, if there's something you want to talk about.."

"Mom, it's not mine! REALLY!"

Mrs. Shibuya bit down on her bottom lip nervously. "Um, alright. I guess I need to talk with your father…Well, goodnight Yurri."

"Ah—'night Mom."

Just as Mrs. Shibuya was about to leave and close the door behind her, a loud 'THUMP' sounded in the bathroom.

"Yurri…what's that?"

Yurri's eyes grew as wide as saucers. "Uh..it's..err..SOCKS! You know what happens when you don't wash baseball socks for a while..they grow a mind of their own! They're probably tearing up the place…you can leave now!"

A disheveled-looking Wolfram (now dressed!) stumbled out of the bathroom, ruining any chance Yurri had of his sock-story working.

And as much as Yurri wanted to DIE right then, his heart just wouldn't give out! Damn that Mazoku fitness!

"Uh..Yurri," his mother said flatly. "Who's that boy?"

"YURRI, WHO'S THAT WOMAN?" Wolfram screeched.

And then Yurri realized that they were both speaking in different languages, and he could understand them both. Cool. Wait—no! He needed to think!

"Uh—" Yurri muttered quietly. He could feel his brain sweating. "Foreign-exchange student!" he blurted out to his mother. "From Germany! He's gonna stay with us for a while and—I thought you were asleep..so I couldn't tell you…" Lame finish.

Yurri's mother looked suspicious for a moment, but then her expression instantly changed to one of happiness. "Oh, that's so cool! I hope you two become friends! No offense, but that Murata guy you hang out with—he's kinda girly." And she left, giggling something about her husband and thongs that could scar poor Yurri if he was paying attention.

But he wasn't. Instead, he was slumping to the floor, thanking the---er ceiling above for its mercy.

All of the sudden, Wolfram's face was shoved into his. Yurri felt his stomach do a flip-flop as he noticed the intensity of Wolfram's emerald-eyed gaze, the nose brushing his, and the soft lips curled into a disapproving frown.

"Yurri, _who was that woman?"_

He had a lot of a explaining to do.

And he still needed a shower.

…preferably a cold one.

_­--tbc_

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**Yay, I finally wrote it! I am SO sorry it took so freakin' long, I couldn't help it! I really hope you like it as much as the first chapter. .**

**Review! Wolfram may be violated, but you can still touch him! Or Yurri, if you're so inclined.**


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